Top 10+1 professional “deal breakers” of 2013

This little list is my favorite top 10 (and one extra). I did hear some of them personally, some were told by my friends.
Without any kind of further comments, let’s see the list itself:

  1. Starting with this release, we do not have bugs. At all.
  2. Eeeh, unit testing is not for me.
  3. We want to be agile, but not so strict agile. We only want the cool stuff like standups, but not retros. Retros are bullshit anyway.
  4. – “I need a bit of help”. -“No, you don’t”.
  5. I don’t think our way of working should be adjusted at all.
  6. Unit tests will make your code less flexible.
  7. I understand it can be useful, but don’t write clean code; you’ll confuse everyone with so many classes and methods.
  8. Don’t do refactoring, it only breaks working code.
  9. Don’t write unit tests, nobody’s paying for those. Customers are paying for features.
  10. We will implement an automated test system sometime, but first we have to conduct a feasibility study.

And get ready for my favorite one:

+1. ┬áHudson’s been broken for the past few weeks. Somebody should take care of it.